Private Equity: A Memoir, by Carrie Sun.
I really enjoyed this book. After settling into the groove of reading it, I found myself thinking about the firm, Boone, and all of the assistants the author chronicled during her time at Carbon. What I enjoyed even more than learning about the author’s life during that time was her slow realization that the firm had changed her as opposed to she changing the firm. I enjoyed her honesty when recalling that at times, she’d blamed poor people for their station in life, she believed good billionaires were possible, and she defended both her boss and the culture at Carbon because she trusted that people with a lot of money were capable of making the world a better place. I really enjoyed when she realized she was wrong about all of this.
One of the many things I picked up in this book happened towards the end when the author realized she had been the architect of all of this good belief. Neither Boone nor the firm had instilled in her the idea that they were good people—moral people—who were working to improve the world by making the rich richer. The author recalled that when you want to believe something badly enough, that’s just what you’ll do, and when a person or corporation gives you the very thing you’ve been silently hoping for for a very long time (in Carrie’s case, a very decent income leading to financial and personal security), you will fill in the gaps for them. You’ll start to ascribe goodness where there never was any; you’ll be the walking billboard for all of the good they never claimed to possess. And I thought, “How true is this. Very rarely do billionaires have to convince the world that their ‘work’ is good and helpful. People with proximity to them and people who want proximity to them—who buy into anything and everything they sell—typically do their PR for them.” This realization in particular inspired me to stop doing labor where it isn’t present and where it isn’t asked of me. And to believe what people’s work and reputation presents them as.
Bonus: There was also a blurb I’m about to butcher by paraphrasing, but in essence, the author resolved, for herself, that Boone himself was not a bad person; the system he was a part of was a bad system. But, she concluded, if he is not a bad person but the system he’s a part of is a bad system—and he is a part of the people who are upholding and reinforcing that system—then what does that ultimately say about him as a person? And I was like, “wow, this is exactly how I feel about being attracted to men.”